It's Tuesday
Hi Big Sis,
I really should say Tiny Sis, you are very tiny and there is not an ouce of fat on your body these days, I know your head does not let you see yourself as you really are, I know that you have demons to slay and I certainly hope that your shrink helps you with them.
I'm sending hugs your way, Laureen
I really should say Tiny Sis, you are very tiny and there is not an ouce of fat on your body these days, I know your head does not let you see yourself as you really are, I know that you have demons to slay and I certainly hope that your shrink helps you with them.
I'm sending hugs your way, Laureen
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
It's a lot of hard work, Annette, and you know that. I'm glad you talked about body image in support group, because we all have that issue. I still see that fat girl ... I was that fat girl for so many years of my life, so it's hard to see anyone but her.
I hope the psychologist can help you. I know mine has been a great help to me in dealing with my issues. Facing the problem is a big step forward. Sending you a big cyberhug
I hope the psychologist can help you. I know mine has been a great help to me in dealing with my issues. Facing the problem is a big step forward. Sending you a big cyberhug
The hug is most welcomed Eileen.
The Psychiatrist was a waste of time. His answer was basically to take drugs, accept that I am underweight and EAT. A lot of good that did me.
That fat girl image does persist. Probably because we spent so many years that way.
I still have the image of hiding under the dining room table as my siblings circled chanting "fatty, fatty, 2 X 4, couldn't get through the bathroom door, so she did it on the floor, fatty, fatty, 2 X 4".
We are all fighting some sort of past humiliation because of weight issues. I think my OFF family understands better than anybody else.
Annette
The Psychiatrist was a waste of time. His answer was basically to take drugs, accept that I am underweight and EAT. A lot of good that did me.
That fat girl image does persist. Probably because we spent so many years that way.
I still have the image of hiding under the dining room table as my siblings circled chanting "fatty, fatty, 2 X 4, couldn't get through the bathroom door, so she did it on the floor, fatty, fatty, 2 X 4".
We are all fighting some sort of past humiliation because of weight issues. I think my OFF family understands better than anybody else.
Annette
Annette 
(deactivated member)
on 8/26/08 7:53 am - Park Forest, IL
on 8/26/08 7:53 am - Park Forest, IL
Hi Annette,
Just wanted to take a minute and send some extra hugs your way! Paulette
Just wanted to take a minute and send some extra hugs your way!
Paulette Can you find another psychologist, one that you "connect" with better?
Yes, I agree that the fat girl image is hard to shake. I see a thin face in the mirror, but then I see the slab of flab hanging over my pants and feel fat ... I know I'm not as fat as I was, and that's just sagging skin, but I can't shake loose the feeling and the taunts. (I too remember that "fatty, fatty 2 x4" chant ... not from my siblings, but from the neighbor boys down the street ... my sister and I both heard it ... probably why she is so crabby to this day. She disappeared into her crabby self and lost the weight; I stuffed my emotions.)
I don't think anyone understands us like we do ... going for a job interview and knowing that the first thing the person sees is a fat person and not a competent writer who has won gobs of awards ... I struggled to get so many jobs because of my size. I was fortunate to have some very good employers who looked past that, but it took a long time to build up my self-confidence, and the hurt still lingers. It wasn't until I got here that I was able to shed some of that and get the help I needed, that I could shed my "fat" skin, so to speak. Probably why losing this job scares me so much.
Annette, I hope you can find someone who can help you with more than just "drugs and eat more". You're too valuable to us, and too wonderful a person to go through this alone. We all love you.
Yes, I agree that the fat girl image is hard to shake. I see a thin face in the mirror, but then I see the slab of flab hanging over my pants and feel fat ... I know I'm not as fat as I was, and that's just sagging skin, but I can't shake loose the feeling and the taunts. (I too remember that "fatty, fatty 2 x4" chant ... not from my siblings, but from the neighbor boys down the street ... my sister and I both heard it ... probably why she is so crabby to this day. She disappeared into her crabby self and lost the weight; I stuffed my emotions.)
I don't think anyone understands us like we do ... going for a job interview and knowing that the first thing the person sees is a fat person and not a competent writer who has won gobs of awards ... I struggled to get so many jobs because of my size. I was fortunate to have some very good employers who looked past that, but it took a long time to build up my self-confidence, and the hurt still lingers. It wasn't until I got here that I was able to shed some of that and get the help I needed, that I could shed my "fat" skin, so to speak. Probably why losing this job scares me so much.
Annette, I hope you can find someone who can help you with more than just "drugs and eat more". You're too valuable to us, and too wonderful a person to go through this alone. We all love you.
Hi Everyone,
Had a counseling appt earlier today and we talked about my recent prob with panic attacks. "hidden feelings" is the culprit. This mostly happens when I drive so it must be related to my car accident last Fall. A 4th time OUI rear ended me at 50mph while I was stopped at a traffic light. My insurance company has not been very supportive...he was uninsured so I'm getting the brunt of the costs. They said he has no assets. That's not my fault. Where did he get the money to drink? The good thing is that my brain healed enough that I'm working and making a living for myself again. I really shouldn't complain cuz so many others have much worse problems going on in their lives.
Oh, I found small spoons yesterday at Kohl's. They are "demitasse"? spoons. They look grown up with small scoop end. They were on sale for 6/$10 in a box...Cambridge brand. Next I'll hunt down some small forks. I use Correlle dishes so I can easily find some desert plates or saucers to buy.
Have a great day Everyone!
Alice
Had a counseling appt earlier today and we talked about my recent prob with panic attacks. "hidden feelings" is the culprit. This mostly happens when I drive so it must be related to my car accident last Fall. A 4th time OUI rear ended me at 50mph while I was stopped at a traffic light. My insurance company has not been very supportive...he was uninsured so I'm getting the brunt of the costs. They said he has no assets. That's not my fault. Where did he get the money to drink? The good thing is that my brain healed enough that I'm working and making a living for myself again. I really shouldn't complain cuz so many others have much worse problems going on in their lives.
Oh, I found small spoons yesterday at Kohl's. They are "demitasse"? spoons. They look grown up with small scoop end. They were on sale for 6/$10 in a box...Cambridge brand. Next I'll hunt down some small forks. I use Correlle dishes so I can easily find some desert plates or saucers to buy.
Have a great day Everyone!
Alice
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I love Spring!!!!!!
I love Spring!!!!!!
JeanB
alice-demitasse was for coffee---kindof i think-like an espresso..a teeeny coffee cup served after dinner! must be that it is coming back into fashion!!!! growing up, my mother had a demitasse set in silver but i vaguely remember it!you'll be eating in style!!! get the crystal out like annette!
I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.
- E. B. White
Hi Barb and OFF Family Members,
My scale moved a half of pound this morning, I can't believe I got excited about a half of a pound, but I think it's because it moved is why I got excited, because it's been bouncing between 177 and 179 for the last 6 weeks now and this morning it was 176.5 (lol).
Otherwise it's very quiet here at work, the phones are not even ringing, but that is the corporate world the last couple of weeks in August and the 1st week in September, after which things begin to pick up, though I'm not sure to what extent they will with the darn economic downturn that has been going on for the last year now. . . oh well, what will be, will be. . .
I have a dinner date with Tony tonight and then am staying overnight at an old co-worker's place close to Manhattan.
I hope you are having a wonderful day and if you are experiencing difficulties of any kind, please know you are in my prayers and positive thoughts, Laureen
My scale moved a half of pound this morning, I can't believe I got excited about a half of a pound, but I think it's because it moved is why I got excited, because it's been bouncing between 177 and 179 for the last 6 weeks now and this morning it was 176.5 (lol).
Otherwise it's very quiet here at work, the phones are not even ringing, but that is the corporate world the last couple of weeks in August and the 1st week in September, after which things begin to pick up, though I'm not sure to what extent they will with the darn economic downturn that has been going on for the last year now. . . oh well, what will be, will be. . .
I have a dinner date with Tony tonight and then am staying overnight at an old co-worker's place close to Manhattan.
I hope you are having a wonderful day and if you are experiencing difficulties of any kind, please know you are in my prayers and positive thoughts, Laureen
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
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